Does it seem as if you and your partner argue and argue and never get anywhere? Maybe you start out trying to talk about one thing and end up fighting about another. There might even be things you need to talk about but end up ignoring all together because you don’t want to have another fight. However it happens, neither of you ever feels heard and nothing gets resolved.
Do you love each other but worry that you're no longer "in love"? You may miss the connection you used to have and wonder if you've made a mistake. Sometimes it feels like you're just roommates.
Has one of you had an affair? Deciding what to do next can be a difficult process. You may not be sure if you want to stay together or end the relationship. If you do stay, how do you heal the hurt and build a relationship you're glad to have?
Do you have trouble working together to make important decisions, plan your future, or parent kids? It may seem like one or the other of you doesn’t have the time to talk about important issues, works too many hours, or is often too tired.
Have you followed all the advice you’ve been given for improving your communication and level of intimacy and still feel frustrated, misunderstood, angry or sad?
When you’re struggling with issues like these, it can be hard to find a way to do things differently. You may try this or that approach, but find that you still feel stuck in the same old story. It may feel like the problems are just too many or the resentments have grown out of control.
When you’re in this kind of a bind, working with some one who’s truly qualified to understand the needs, conflicts and challenges of a committed relationship is vitally important to the quality of the help you receive. There’s no shortage of therapists who will lend you an ear and sympathize with your plight. And to some extent, this is an important part of the therapeutic process. However, to make real change you’ll need to go beyond this. Successful couples have a combination of the right skills, good insight into themselves, willingness to take some emotional risks, ability to accept themselves and each other, and a commitment to doing the work needed to build the best relationship that they can. I work with couples to develop skills and increase capacities in all of these areas. If you have serious struggles going on in your relationship, I have the experience and perspective to help you address those struggles.